Ok I got tired of everyone telling me that all my recent posts were so sad and depressing. So now it's time for a light moment. Let me tell you about...

The funniest sad moment of my life...

Perhaps it's a coincidence, or maybe there is something to be said for the power of suggestion. Just last night, I watched a rerun of a "Sex and the City" episode where Miranda has a panic attack when she is in the middle of trying to buy a house and has to type "Single" in her mortgage application.

And tonight, after having put it off for so long, I sat down to apply online for my U.S Citizenship. Having paid my 100$ fee for downloading a software that helps fill the citizenship application (which is ironic considering that my uncle who applied for our immigration came as a poor engineering student from India to the U.S 30-35 years ago and began the long journey of settling down and moving his extended family to the US, and my dad earned a living for 20 years in the hot deserts of Saudi Arabia while he waited for his U.S immigration), I proceeded to fill it out.

And out of the blue, there it was - a moment of reckoning. For the first time in a quarter century, I found myself looking with trepidation at the field "Marital Status". It looked so innocent sitting there, with "Single" displayed as the default selection. With my breath caught in my throat, I clicked the drop-down and my worst fears came true. There nestled below "Single" and "Married", was "Divorced". The D word. In writing. I was to be another statistic, added to the teeming millions of divorcees in the Unites States of America.

Ofcourse, 6 months ago I did not even know what a panic attack was. However in the last few months, my cousin who is a doctor gently explained that what I thought of as "adult onset seasonal asthma" (my self-researched Google diagnosis) was actually anxiety or panic attacks. So much for the strong Nada, who had bravely battled life’s unexpected catastrophe and emerged victorious with no significant damage other than a touch of asthma.

OK so now I know what panic attacks are. And OK I have experienced one or two or maybe five of them myself. But I had overcome them and for the past two months or so, I had been panic free, if not foot loose and fancy free.

But tonight, as I stared in horror at the Divorced option in the application form, like Miranda - I too had a weak moment. My hands shook, eyes blurred, throat constricted, chest tightened and I selected it.

My first reaction was anger. What the hell does "Divorced" mean? That is not a marital status. It is the absence of one. "Single" or "Married" - those are the only two marital statuses that should concern anyone. "Divorced" is personal (and often times painful) history , not a freaking marital status for heaven's sake!!!

There I was, poised on the verge of hysteria when my sister entered the scene. I had to share with someone. "Sammy, look." With tear-filled eyes, I pointed to my treacherous laptop screen. Ofcourse she understood. She squeezed my shoulder, rumpled my hair lovingly, and with her usual panache and unerring tact said "I'm sorry. But let me look to see what the other choices are." (Widowed and Anulled were the two other choices whoopee). "Hmm", she goes "I wonder what you would choose if you got married again."

That being the last thing that I wanted to hear at that point, or for the next century for the matter, I did what any other girl in those circumstances would have done. I burst into laughter. Stoic sisters that we are, we dealt with the moment exactly how we always have done - we laughed and cried together.

"Oh Sammy, this has to be the funniest sad moment of my life. Here I am, filling out my bloody U.S Citizenship form, and the last thing I expected was that Uncle Sam would rub salt into my wounds." But the salt was rubbed in. And how. The form went on to ask a few more questions about my failed marriage, and whether I had kids...Could it get any worse? I am so used to the feeling of the knife twisting into my heart by now. Red, white and blue must be code for brusied, black and blue.

Finally, I saved and exited that damned thing, and went downstairs with my sis for a late night snack. Left-over lo-mein being my comfort food of choice, I must say I fared better with with Thai than I did with America.

And for the second time tonight, out of the blue something happened. I started singing "Tamaam umr ka hisaab maangti hai INS. Maangti hai INS. Yeh mera dil kahey toh kya, yeh khud se sharmsaar hai"

Curtain closes to the sounds of laughter coming out of the kitchen of the Quraishi residence at 2 am.