Valentines Day...

Much hyped, much debated and much dreaded.

Today over a lunch meeting with my boss, the subject came up and he said “I hate this holiday. Just Hallmark’s and candy shops’ gimmick to make money. It is so invented.”

To which I responded “Well everything is invented, isn’t it El… at some point or another by someone or the other? But the point is if it adds joy to our life, or makes it easier or better, it becomes a good thing.”

My boss, being a wonderful person who appreciates new or different outlooks unlike so many of us who just like to argue on, smiled and said “Wow, you know what – you are right! That was a profound thought Miss Quraishi!”

I smiled sagely and munched away on my yummy Mexican food, not wanting to give away that this was hardly a spontaneous outburst of insight, but actually something I’ve thought about, discussed and debated with a lot of people lately.

Valentines Day. What’s all the fuss they ask? Why all the opposition I say.

I mean why are a bunch of people sooo threatened by this holiday. And excuse me if I am being sexist here – but it seems to be mostly men who are freaked out. Nobody seems to have a problem with the superbowl or the world cup, the Olympics, Nascar, the auto show. So, dedicating a day or a whole week to sports or cars is just great but dedicating a day to love, romance or mushiness stinks? Yeah I get that. Makes sense.

It is just sooo typical. And it doesn’t stop here (the feminist in me is on a roll now). There are so many parallels of this male intolerance/derision /negligence/suppression of feminine interests. Spending 50 grand on a BMW is just plain common sense but spending 5 grand on a diamond ring is an unholy extravagance. The living room absolutely must have a surround-sound flat-screen entertainment system but wanting to have Prada bags or Gucci shoes is so frivolous.

A lot of times even when there is recognition of feminine needs or interests, it is accompanied with a sort or belittlement. “Just the stupid little things that make my wife/girlfriend happy.”

Ok and here is the line I hate the most. Make that two lines. “Why do I need to get flowers/cards/gifts on Valentines day to show you that I care? Don’t you know that I love you?” This line is best answered by “Why do I need to cook Biryani on Eid to show you that I care? Don’t you know that I love you?”

Next one. “Why do we need one day to celebrate our love? When you are in love, every day is better than a valentines day/birthday.” Amazing the corny lines men will think of when it suits their purpose. OK here is the problem with this one. This line of thought would be perfectly valid if a guy did the cute things that most girls crave like surprise gifts, flowers, dining out in style etc every so often. Once a month. Once in two months even. Then I could understand how Valentines days or birthdays or anniversaries would be redundant, superfluous, obsolete. But alas a lot of men can’t be counted on to exert themselves as many as six times a year to perform these arduous duties.

So, when you are essentially being let off the hook with just three days in a year, one of which is in your face and easy to remember, I would think that is a cause to be happy. Celebrate. Roses anyone?