What do I want?
The unrest stirs within me again. The want for more. More what? I don’t really know. The smell of the air in India, and the feel of the heat on my back… Not surprising after a seemingly endless winter in Michigan.
I crave the human touch in this temperature controlled world of brick, stone and concrete. The bhutta waala roasting my bhutta. Friends who hold hands, butt into your life. Relatives who snoop and want to know where you are going every single day.
I long for the chaos.
But as my friend put it the other day, “and after 4 months in India you'll be dying for your mochas and lattes again, or your fancy Italian restaurants”. And damn if that ain’t the truth!!
So what is my problem? Is it the old “grass greener on other side” effect?
Or do I have the soul of a gypsy, with the wanderlust fused into me? The restless traveler…
Or is it even more fundamental that that? Is it some higher need manifesting itself as smaller, more discernible needs? And what is that higher need? The search for spiritual truth, a connection with God. Or the companionship of a life-partner. Or motherhood.
Who knows?
The real question is – Will I ever be satisfied and at peace? Will I discover the answers, establish the connections with God and man and be content? Will this twisting, strangulating need for more ever go away? Is there a happily ever after?
Or is it just the nature of the beast to keep wanting?
2 Comments:
i was running through words of picturesque depiction when suddenly i landed in a deeper thought giving idea that came across this passage. ""The search for spiritual truth, a connection with God"". It is more than just words. All the other accomplishments can offer you happiness but this can offer you 'the complete peace'. And mind you if you r in search of this question "Will I discover the answers, establish the connections with God and man and be content?" then I'd like you to read a quote of the great poet and a Sufi himself, Sir Allama Iqbal. "Since love first made the breast an instrument
Of fierce lamenting, by its flame my heart
Was molten to a mirror, like a rose
I pluck my breast apart, that I may hang
This mirror in your sight
Gaze you therein." .."IQBAL"
In this path you'll find that the meaning of words like 'happiness',
'sadness','pleasure','grief' happens to change. The real 'happiness' lies in 'burnt heart'(sadness) and the real 'pleasure' happens to be in 'grief' and there lies the ulimate peace. The quote from Allama points towards the ultimate aim of life. I end up with a hope that you may experience life to its fullest.
Tameem Farooqui
The only 'happily ever after' is when you are pleasing your Creator.
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