Alhamdulillah the preliminary reports for my biopsy came today. And I have no cancer. No T.B. The reports are clear. It is such a relief u know. For me and for my whole family. Today after the reports came everybody admitted how relieved they were. My dad cried a lot one night it seems (my mom said that, not my dad ofcourse). My mom was also worried but she’s got this unshakeable faith in Allah, so she’s strong on that. MashaAllah. And then my brother (the doctor) finally admitted today that in persons of age 22-30, large lumps the size of which I had, are cancers in 15% cases. Whoa, it was soooo scary to hear that though I had suspected it, but he had never admitted it before. I’m sooo thankful I’m not among those 15%. Alhamdulillah. My bro also admitted that he hadn’t been able to eat anything for weeks now cus he was so worried about me. That was really touching. Anyways its just a ‘reactive hyperlasia’ or some such word. Meaning it is juat a reaction to some viral infection I have. Nothing to worry about. I kinda feel ashamed now. I worried so many other people too- my friends… all for nothing. But in a way it felt good to know that I have so many people who care so much about me. And it did help to share my worries with them. And now I can share my joy- yippeeeeeeee
On another note, I know that everything happens for a purpose. And this small but scary incident also has a very large and substantial purpose and effect on my life. Today after hearing the report, I feel like I have a new lease on life. But all these days, when I was a faced by a big ‘What If’, it made me realize that death is no unknown stranger, no faraway destination in our life. It is very real, and it is very near. And it is so important to live life in such a way that u may never fear dying tomorrow. That was my first lesson. The second and more gut-shaking lesson is that- we have it ALL and we never even realize it!!! I swear it- I was sooooo busy bitching about all that I thought was missing in my life. Whining about how I am not doing anything close to what I had dreamed off. On and on and on. And then I got this great big shake from Allah. And suddenly it was so obvious that all we really need is our health. Our life. It’s the biggest blessing. Ask me now, and I’ll tell u that I’m the happiest person in the world cus I’m alive and well and healthy. How could I have been so stupid as to ever be depressed about LIFE?? Hahaha. I just hope this lesson stays with me for a long long time.