Do all relationships have a villain??
No seriously - how many of your friends, siblings, neighbors have cried on your shoulder? How many times have you wanted to blow up the @#&! putting whatsisname through so much pain and causing your best shirt to be stained by tears and snot?
The question is – are we all victims in our heads with the other person in a relationship being the villain? Without realizing that relationships are tricky and thorny things that cause as much pain as they give pleasure, and that there is no villain or victim. That both people in a relationship suffer at times and revel at others. But naah where is the fun in that perfectly logical and reasonable outlook?!
So the question really is - is one person in a relationship always the villain by default? Not because that person is bad or cruel or wrong. But because different personalities have different weights and there is never an exact power balance in a relationship. One person is always going to be stronger or less patient or more forceful than the other. And that person gets pegged as the “villain” in a relationship. Now take that villain and place her/him in a relationship with a person who is even stronger, even less patient and even more forceful – and voila – the tables are turned.
CAUTION: Beware the worst kinds of relationship villains – the villains disguised as victims. That not-so-rare species of people who think that they are always wronged and that the other person is always at fault. Perpetual victims can be the worst kind of villain there is, because they can never see beyond their own pain and their own point of view.
The question boils down to – are we all villains who when confronted with bigger villains turn into victims? Is one person always doomed to be the sufferer in a relationship, and one the perpetrator?
To all the not-so-single people out there, I just want to say - of the two people in a relationship, whether one is good and the other even more good, or, one is bad and the other even more bad – in the end it is all relative as our good friend Einstein died trying to prove. So best of luck y'all!
