As I battled yet another vicious attack on my precarious peace and personal happiness in the last few days, I had to draw on my last vestiges of strength and control.

Support came from both expected and unexpected quarters - some of it touching, some amusing, some unique and poignantly sweet.

I want to quote some of my pillars of strength here:

Rehan, my cousin and partner-in-crime said:

rehan_srh: jus dont let it get u n'apa
rehan_srh: jo hona hai woh honga n all u can do is just fight
rehan_srh: n plz dont u dare sound like dat ki tabiyat kharaab hori n all
rehan_srh: i mean its so not u man
rehan_srh: the you dat i knew was da one who wud fight even wid a Chakka for 2 bucks n dis is jus nuthin complared to dat i swear
Nada: hahahhhahahah
Nada: thanks ren
rehan_srh: seee.. thats more like my Nada apa

So, I guess I have what it takes! I never could abide giving money to cross-dressed chakkas instead of the poor people who truly deserve it. Love you Ren…

Sana, my sis and best friend wrote this for me today:

A fairy with broken wings
Brought into my life all the joy she could bring
I knew my wishes had been granted
Never knowing what she really wanted.

A fairy with a broken smile
And I wondered all the while
What do I do to make her happy?
Could I be what she wanted me to be?

A fairy with a broken spirit
I knew I had to restore it
The road of life was rough.
And my love for her wasn’t enough.

I bought her all that money buys
And I saw emptiness in her eyes
I could get her the stars and the moon
I couldn’t give up, not so soon.

Then I gave her what she was waiting for
I don’t know why I dint think of it before,
I gave her the wings to fly
And then,
I watched her smile as she said goodbye.

She told me that she wrote this from a guy’s perspective, based on my situation, and what I would like to hear. Well San, all I want to say is that I don’t have a very high opinion anymore of having a “man in my life” and have seen only too well what damage a bad one can do. But your words sure helped heal my broken wings, and any time you want to go flying to Olive Garden, I’ll keep pace with you on my newly mended wings. I love you more than words can tell, and the best part is we never have to say goodbye.

As I write this, the heavens have opened up, there is lightning in the air and rain is pouring down. And I will go now and pack my imaginary bag to take off on a flight of fancy to a tropical Seychelles paradise on the wings that have been restored to me by loving friends and family...

Another night spent tossing and turning… Another day being dissipated into the all-too-familiar sense of sadness and loneliness has brought me right to where it always does… Writing on my blog.

Why are we so vulnerable to others? To the effect that they can have on us. Good or bad.
Why cannot man be an island? Stoic and self-contained.
Why do the good things that happen throughout the day fade away, and only the bad moments torment us when we try to slip into the recesses of sleep?
Why does one friend have the ability to cheer you up in 25 minutes, whereas 25 years of self accumulated wisdom and experience cannot do the same?
Why do regrets and memories plague us so often, and how come we forget the lessons learned so easily?
Why aren’t we strong and good and noble?
Why are we so emotionally needy?
Why can we not be happier alone?

I saw “we” but I wonder if everyone out there feels like this. Or is it just me?